Help with sonnet poem: 2nd try?

Your rhyme scheme -- abba cddc eeffgg -- is one acceptable variation for an Italian or Petrarchan sonnet (teachers/weeper is a slant rhyme, but that's OK). But you don't seem to have any grasp of iambic pentameter, the traditional meter for a sonnet. Web search "iambic pentameter," and then read a few sonnets out loud to get a feel for the rhythm.